HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Beth

HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

by Beth | Oct 13, 2003 | in the Spirit | 0 comments

This came across in my email (again), so I thought I’d post it so I can keep it handy…. It’s just too much fun to read. And, having been an active member of at least 3 of categories mentioned, I can laugh all the harder.

HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, & 3 committees to
approve the change & decide who brings the potato salad & fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks
and
one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him
how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you
have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited
to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the
next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or
tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

Prep Time 30 minutes
Cook Time 35 minutes
Total Time 1 hour 10 minutes
Servings: 12 servings
Course: Dessert
Cuisine: American
Calories: 300

Ingredients
  

Cake
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 1/2 c. vegetable oil (I use coconut oil)
  • 2 c. sugar
  • 2 c. flour
  • 2 tsp. baking powder
  • 3 tsp. cinnamon
  • 2 tsp. soda
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 3 c. raw carrots, grated (I don't measure, but I grate up about 1lb of carrots)
  • 4 Tbsp. hot water
Icing
  • 1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese
  • 1/4 c.butter
  • 1 (1 lb.) box confectioners sugar
  • 2 tsp. vanilla
  • 1 c. chopped nuts (pecans)

Method
 

Cake
  1. Blend sugar and oil. Add eggs. Beat well. Add hot water.
  2. Sift dry ingredients. Add to sugar-egg mixture. Beat well.
  3. Stir in grated carrots.
  4. Pour into 2 or 3 (9-inch) or a 9x13u0022 greased and floured cake pans. Bake at 350ºF for 25 to 35 minutes.
  5. Cool cakes and stack with frosting.
Icing
  1. Work cheese until soft. Add softened butter. Beat in sugar gradually. Add flavoring ana nuts. Mix and spread.

Notes

  • Mt family loves a 4 layer cake, so I modify this way: bake in 2 layers; when cooled thoroughly, I split the layers horizontally using dental floss so I have 4 layers. Double the icing recipe; don't add the pecans until after icing between the layers. So u002du002d interior has no pecans, but the outside is covered!
  • Cream Cheese Icing

    Prep Time 10 minutes
    Total Time 10 minutes

    Ingredients
      

    • 1 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese
    • 1/4 c. margarine
    • 1 1 lb. box confectioners sugar
    • 2 tsp. vanilla
    • 1 c. chopped nuts pecans

    Method
     

    1. Work cheese until soft. Add softened margarine. Beat in sugar gradually. Add flavoring ana nuts. Mix and spread.

    Notes

    If I make a 3 layer carrot cake, I double this recipe. But then I have extras! What to do? Make a second carrot cake recipe and make it into cupcakes or a sheet cake and use the rest of the icing on that.
    Or, just be decadent and eat it like fudge.

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