This came across in my email (again), so I thought I’d post it so I can keep it handy…. It’s just too much fun to read. And, having been an active member of at least 3 of categories mentioned, I can laugh all the harder.
HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, & 3 committees to
approve the change & decide who brings the potato salad & fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks
one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him
how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you
have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited
to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the
next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or
tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Amish: What’s a light bulb?