HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

October 13, 2003

by Beth

This came across in my email (again), so I thought I’d post it so I can keep it handy…. It’s just too much fun to read. And, having been an active member of at least 3 of categories mentioned, I can laugh all the harder.

HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, & 3 committees to
approve the change & decide who brings the potato salad & fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks
and
one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him
how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you
have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited
to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the
next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or
tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring
bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

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About the Author

Beth

Marathoner (hey! I did complete the Nashville Rock'n'Roll Marathon! -- never again!), peregrino (Via Frances, Camino de Santiago de Compostela 2013), techie behind famvin.org for over 20 years now, mother to David, Marie and Daniel, Mémère to Lily, Ella, Genevieve, Henry, Avery, Luke and Claire, Catholic Christian (when I get frustrated and want to leave the RC I find myself asking "But where would I go?"), Auburn Tiger (War Eagle!), retired from Auburn University Libraries, and after 44 years, I'm still married to JP.

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